


Make (Yourself) Up

by Rhaized



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Waking Up, F/F, Makeup, Marisa realizes how differently she and Mary approach such things, Mary feels angry on her behalf, Skincare, the morning after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28451865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhaized/pseuds/Rhaized
Summary: "Where's your toner?" Marisa asked as she dug through the bin, eyes flicking over the various bottles."Sorry?" Mary puffed."Toner. To cleanse your skin.""Oh, you mean cleanser?""No, I don't," said Marisa icily, her gaze hard as she considered the other woman. Mary felt awkward now as she realized Marisa, unlike her, cared about her skin and used more products than Mary probably even knew existed.Just who was this woman, Mary kept coming back to, and what had she been through?—or—The morning after where Mary and Marisa discuss the role and expectations of skincare and makeup, among other things.
Relationships: Marisa Coulter/Mary Malone
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54
Collections: His Dark Materials Discord Server Exchange





	Make (Yourself) Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [janetcarter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/gifts).



The first thing Mary noticed in the morning was the way Marisa slept.

It was light and gentle, as one might expect, with her breathing deep and slow. She looked completely and utterly at peace as she rested there with her head against Mary’s orange pillow, facing Mary with her body curled up tightly near the edge of the bed. Her daemon was resting down by their feet, still and calm. Mary could watch her sleep all morning, really. This version of Marisa was so soft compared to the woman she'd met the day before, who had barged into Mary’s office uninvited and made out with her against the bookshelf before coming home to wrestle with her in bed. It was a nice contrast. Mary felt like she was actually  _ seeing  _ the other woman for the first time, if that even made any sense.

As Mary shifted around on her side of the bed trying to decide whether to go back to sleep or get up and make some coffee, she felt Marisa stir beside her. She turned around to see Marisa’s eyes twitch before blinking open, their blue depths focusing slowly on Mary and then on the scenery around her. Mary heard a small grunt and knew the golden monkey was awake, too, but she kept her eyes trained on his human.

"Hey," said Mary softly, turning to face her. Marisa was so beautiful, even as she first woke up. She was simply breathtaking. Her skin was bright and clear save for the slight smear of the leftover mascara she'd worn the day before. It still suited her somehow, though, and only added to her appeal. For a quick moment, Mary felt as if she could hardly breathe, taking her in as she was lying there. 

"Good morning," Marisa returned rather stiffly. She was frowning as she blinked a couple more times and then swiftly threw the covers off of her, swinging her feet to the ground. Her daemon leaped to her side in a flash and bent down before coming back up with Marisa’s blouse, which she slunk her arms into and quickly began buttoning up. 

“Are you—did you sleep well?” Mary asked, starting to feel a creeping sense of anxiousness build in her chest. She was afraid that this would happen: that Marisa would run. Their entanglement had happened so suddenly— _ too  _ suddenly, and in a manner that didn’t feel real. It was almost like a fantasy, as Marisa was simply exquisite. Mary had never met anyone quite as beautiful or as appealing as Marisa, as well as so  _ smart  _ and sharp in ways Mary felt she only barely understood. The woman felt entirely out of Mary’s league. Yet here she was, in her bed and in her arms last night.

“I slept fine,” came the terse response, and Mary gulped, more thoroughly convinced of what was happening. “I just...I have to go. Can you show me where the bathroom is?”

With a heavy sigh, Mary climbed out of bed and showed her to the bathroom down the hall. Mary couldn’t help but feel just a little disappointed, although she wasn’t entirely surprised. Marisa was cold in her demeanor, keeping a slight distance between them and refusing to look at her. Mary had never done this kind of one-night stand before, but she supposed this was how it turned out more often than not, despite what some of the romantic comedies might depict. 

“This is it,” said Mary, flicking the light on and gesturing toward the sink and the shower. “There’s fresh towels in the closet, and feel free to use any of my soap.”

Marisa gave just the briefest hint of a nod, her eyes scanning the room. “Do you...have an extra toothbrush I could use?”

“Sure.” It pained Mary, almost, to hear the reluctance in Marisa’s voice to ask for a favor. Mary was reminded of some of their conversation the day before, when she’d shared with Mary that she and Lyra were indeed from another world with an entirely different societal structure and set of conventions. Her world was theocratic and even more paternalistic than the worst of the patriarchies in Mary’s world, which was incredibly alarming to Mary. Marisa seemed to be such a resilient person, though, forging her way through it all against all odds. She also struck Mary as one who took great pride in making things work and figuring them out. How must she feel now, then, to be in over her head in a world she still barely understood? 

“Here you are,” Mary said a few seconds later, setting an unopened package and her half-filled tube of toothpaste on the counter. “Just, uh...let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

“What about skin care products?"

Skin care. Mary couldn't really help the scoff that escaped her as she fished around under the sink and pulled out a small bin with the lotions and creams that she had. Mary wasn't one to obsess over her skin. She usually forgot to wash it, if she were to be honest, and was  _ all too aware  _ of how crowfeet haunted her eyes as a result of her non-preventive care. It didn’t matter much to her, though, as her work was always more important and she didn’t normally have anyone around to try and impress.

Until this moment, she supposed, which made her almost blush.

"Where's your toner?" Marisa asked as she dug through the bin, eyes flicking over the various bottles. 

"Sorry?" Mary puffed.

"Toner. To cleanse your skin."

"Oh, you mean cleanser?" 

"No, I don't," said Marisa icily, her gaze hard as she considered the other woman. Mary felt awkward now as she realized Marisa, unlike her,  _ did  _ care about her skin and used more products than Mary probably even knew existed.

"Well, this is all I have," Mary sighed, pointing at the off-brand cleanser and moisturizer set her sister had bought her for Christmas a few years ago. "Knock yourself out."

Marisa gaped at her. "How  _ old  _ are these? This top part is  _ crusty." _

“Well, I don’t know,” Mary said, feeling increasingly irritated now. “A couple years old, maybe? I’ve never really been into skincare.”

“You’ve never really been into skincare?” Marisa repeated, her tone mocking. “You mean you’ve never really been into taking care of yourself, then?”

_ Rude,  _ Mary thought, aware of her jaw clenching slightly. Just entirely  _ rude.  _ Who did Marisa think she was, daring to  _ judge  _ Mary like this? Mary supposed it probably  _ was  _ bad to keep such old stuff around, but this didn’t have anything to do with that. The tension in the air was so thick and Marisa seemed taken aback, which felt odd. Marisa was very clearly taking a dig at her, but Mary wasn’t sure if it was because of something she said or the sex or if it was simply something about her being from another world. 

“That’s not fair,” Mary simply let out instead, starting to grow  _ relieved  _ that Marisa would probably be out the door as soon as she could. “Just because I don’t live my life like a barbie doll doesn’t mean I don’t take care of myself.”

"What is that supposed to mean?" Marisa demanded. Her daemon, currently perched on the toilet, hissed at Mary now. They didn't understand the reference but they clearly picked up on the  _ tone  _ Mary used. "Seems to me like you don't get out much. I wonder how much better your skin would look if you took proper care of yourself? And how much more  _ seriously _ people might take you?" 

“That’s mean,” Mary stammered, not able to help herself. Marisa smiled at her then—a cold and smug smile. But beneath it Mary sensed something  _ else  _ lurking there. Something like nervousness, uncertainty;  _ disbelief,  _ almost. For his part the monkey shifted uncomfortably, very visibly unsettled. “What’s going on, Marisa? Have...have I done something to offend you?”

Marisa’s smile fell then as she stared at Mary. For someone who had just been so fierce, she now looked so sad as her eyes flickered over Mary with her old, tattered t-shirt and her wild mess of curls that stuck out every which way on her head.

“I’m sorry.” She came closer to Mary now, eyes moving to rake over her face. Her hand moved to brush Mary’s fingers lightly, and Mary shuddered in spite of herself. “That was awfully rude of me to say to someone who has been so kind. Please forgive me.”

As angry as Mary was, she melted just a little bit at Marisa’s pouting lip and her soft, rounded eyes. It was some kind of sorcery for Mary to feel so soothed and calmed when Marisa had otherwise been so out of line. How did she do that? How did Mary so willingly want to  _ accept  _ that from her?

“It’s fine,” Mary sighed. At the end of the day, this wasn’t that big of a deal. She’d probably never see Marisa again, even as her work and her world and her  _ child  _ completely fascinated her. Mary could be reasonable, as she knew how these things typically ended. “I know things are...different here than what you’re used to. I’ll leave you to wash up now.”

She made some coffee and got started tidying up the counters as she waited for Marisa to finish. Mary couldn’t stop thinking about the woman's  _ face  _ as Mary explained that she never really cared much for skin care. It was like she was spouting some kind of unfathomable heresy the way Marisa's face contorted and her eyes hardened. Wasn't it odd, for a discussion of skin care to be  _ that  _ offensive? Mary got lost in thought before she heard quiet footsteps and turned to see Marisa standing just in front of her, a towel wrapped around her body and Mary’s small bag of makeup dangling from the zipper.

"Is this all the makeup you have?" Marisa asked her, a little bit of water dripping to the floor from her wet, dark hair. Mary felt her face flush as she took in Marisa’s lithe, slender figure and the way the towel just barely wrapped around her upper thighs. It was suggestive in a way that was completely ridiculous, as Mary had seen her naked just the night before and there was no hint of seduction present in Marisa at this moment as she seemed to be genuinely asking Mary a question.

“Uh, yeah, that’s all of it,” Mary answered her, hurriedly turning back toward the counter. She picked up a towel and started wiping down the counters with some cleaner, trying not to show how flustered she was. 

“Which of this do you normally wear?”

"None of it," Mary admitted, keeping her eyes focused on the counter. 

"None at all?" Marisa pressed.

"Well, I'll put on the lip gloss occasionally, but that's really it. Eye makeup makes me itchy and my skin is patchy enough as it is without putting a bunch of extra crap on it."

Again Marisa could only stare, looking Mary up and down as if seeing her for the first time. She'd made a weird face when Mary mentioned her eye itching, Mary saw from her peripheral vision. It was all so strange, and it made Mary curious as much as it did unnerved. 

"Aren't you…expected to?" Marisa inquired, tilting her head and stepping forward just an inch.  _ God,  _ her towel slipped a bit lower as she did so, revealing more of her full cleavage. This couldn’t happen. It wasn’t  _ fair  _ for it to be happening. Mary knew she was just going to leave and disappear. She thus didn’t think her heart could handle getting any hopes up. 

"Expected to by whom?"

"Everyone," Marisa whispered, eyes wide like a child’s. “Are you really that free, Dr. Malone?”

“Free,” Mary repeated, cleaning abandoned now as she fully considered Marisa again. This was a woman who seemed to be the epitome of free, with her sultry looks and curvy hips and voyages across multiple worlds. Everything about her was inviting, tempting, appealing. But somehow, this woman looked at  _ Mary  _ as if  _ she  _ were free and had the kind of life she'd always wanted. Mary didn’t quite know what to do about that. And she didn’t like the flutter that overtook her heart with the thought, as it tapped into deeper  _ feelings  _ that she really couldn’t afford to feel.

But, she couldn't help it. 

“Marisa, you don't need all that stuff," Mary said gently, daring to reach and put a hand on Marisa's cheek. Her skin was so soft from her shower. It was practically sparkling from the early morning light hitting them from the windows. "You're beautiful just the way you are right now."

Marisa stared at her and remained in place, eyes searching and mouth frowning. “But I’m not even done up.”

“You don’t have to be,” Mary insisted, and without thinking she leaned forward and kissed Marisa then, brushing her lips against the other woman’s. She felt Marisa freeze at the contact, and heard the monkey let out a surprised grunt from somewhere nearby. But then Marisa returned the pressure, albeit lightly, before breaking away, her eyes piercing into Mary’s. 

"I can never look like this back home," she said quietly, eyes glistening. “I feel so trapped.”

She was being open and honest in a way Mary could tell wasn’t usual for her. She seemed surprised by it herself, almost, as her expression turned startled and she exchanged a glance with the monkey, who looked pained. Just who  _ was _ this woman, Mary kept coming back to, and what had she been through?

“I’m sorry,” Mary breathed, and she was. She felt such intensity course through her now as she thought about this beautiful and intelligent woman from another world and all the ways in which she wasn’t free to be herself.

It was quiet another moment then as Marisa looked down and nodded. Mary turned back to the counter, absently running her fingers through the thread of her kitchen towel. Neither said anything, although they could both feel it lingering in the air, this burning sense of curiosity and sadness and thinly-veiled  _ rage  _ at forces neither of them could actually control. 

Mary knew how this was supposed to end. She was supposed to serve Marisa a cup of coffee before the woman nodded her thanks and then left the house, never to be heard from again. But looking at the woman, who was now gazing curiously at Mary’s keurig and the selection of cups arranged around it, part of Mary thought that this maybe didn’t have to be the end. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but this could be a beginning. This could be a starting point. 

"There's a farmer's market nearby," Mary said suddenly, causing Marisa's eyes to focus back on her. "We could...check it out, if you wanted. There might be some things you'd be interested in seeing."

After a few moments of silence, Marisa smiled gently. Mary’s heart fluttered again as she looked into those eyes and saw through the ice and the disdain and the stuffiness that had met her before. Now all she saw was shimmering intrigue. "That sounds nice, Dr. Malone. I'd love to go."

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was born from discussions on our HDM discord server about Marisa’s probable makeup routine and, stemming from that, how differently both Mary and Marisa would approach and view makeup, with Marisa realizing more and more how so much of what she does is gendered and predetermined by her patriarchal society. I wrote this fic because of and for janetcarter for our fic exchange :) (hope you like it!) I just love these two characters together so, so much.


End file.
